Quintessence

Seriously? Well, in my opinion, my daily discovery is pretty lame, I mean it started off with Glen Campbell Southern Nights, followed by some What I Got, Sublime, throw in a little AC/DC Thunderstruck, really?! How am I supposed to write something inspiring about that?!  Ok.  

Come a Little Bit Closer, Jay & The Americans, My Type, Saint Motel, Are You Gonna Be My Girl, Jet? Come With Me Now, KONGOS, I Think We're Alone Now, Tiffany, Come On Eileen, Dexys Midnight Runners.  I mean that would be all great and everything if I was just trying to get laid. 

I will spare you these.  I mean, the songs are all ok, I guess, but I don't find them particularly meaningful today.  You can find them if you want it, I guess.  Sorry if this was your favorite playlist.  Please sing whatever makes you happy!

I found something that I think is better, this morning in my YouTube feed, something much more inspiring.  Jose' Gonzalez - Stay Alive. I love this movie, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.  I haven't watched it recently, but I really like watching it and I love the way I feel when I watch it, hopeful, inspired.  It really is a very visually beautifully crafted piece of work. Is it art?  It leans towards it.  Strives to be, I think.  That's why I love it.  I love to say Quintessence.  I love words.  Quintessence...Quintessence.  I feel full.  I feel inspired.  I like it.  Life.  I see brilliant days...when I am watching the movie.  

Actually, I feel sad.  Today.  It's all bittersweet.  Going through some major life transitions now, it's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster in my soul, kind of like my tidal daily discovery playlist thingies have been.  I'm feeling pretty empty right now, being left, alone.  There are people around me everywhere, but I am disconnected.  I'm in my solitary mind space.  I'm in my fragile insular bubble.  Floating up and off, it's causing me to look at the world from a whole new vantage point, a place where I really never intended to be again when I started all of this 20 years ago.  

It's as though I have the whole world wide-open to me once again, yet the details as to how I am going to navigate are so enshrouded in mystery and unknowing right now.  So much is unclear.  So much is empty.  I feel hope slipping.  It's just a void.  It's just something I have to get through.  And I will.  I will stay alive.  I will thrive.  That's what I do.  Given time, I will get where I need to go, and who knows what adventures await me along the way.  Stay open.  Stay true to life, to living.  That's all I need to do.  And I will.  It's all good.  It's absolutely what I do, even through the dregs. 

And I apologize if my posts are lame.  I'm just losing my inspiration, that's all.  It's hard to explain, but I just feel empty inside.  That thing, the beautiful essence in the beautiful 5D beyond is gone.  It's as if it is all being taking away from me.  Like all of this was a big trick and a trap after all.  Ever since the night where Mr. Big was all over me and the next night when some sort of mystical union happened all night while I tried to sleep, since that things have sort of been slipping away a little bit each day.  And while I feel more whole, and I feel more grounded, I also feel a sadness creeping in, and I feel an emptiness pervading my whole being.  It's weird.  It's all weird.  That's all I know.  It's another dark night of the soul, as miniature as it may be in the whole scheme of things. 

It is absolutely the start of something new.  It feels like a nuclear reaction within, fission. It feels like the cell must feel right before it splits, to become 2, then 4 then, 16, exponential...potential.  It's change.  That's all.  God how frightening it is to FEEL the change.  It's life.  I'm trying hard to embrace it.  Trying hard to catch the wave and RIDE it.  Don't drown.  Don't even be tempted to that.  That's stupid.

And I have lots of important shit to get done today.  Things to really move me along.  Things to launch me into a better place with my art and work that will make my fall garden a reality.  And if I still feel off, maybe I'll go watch the movie.  It could make me feel better.  And no matter what, I remember, I KNOW that the sun is always shining, even when all we see are clouds.  That's the truth.  In truth, it IS shining here today.  You just have to Step Outside to see it.  I'll leave you with that as video #2 and as my sign off for today.  Peace!

Added bonus...never cut yourself off from options.  Version #2 of video #2...not the official Walter Mitty version, but very bold and daring and life affirming, nonetheless.  Enjoy!