It Was Sweet

 Tidal and Tarot. It's not much of a foundation for a spectacular life.  Something needs to change.  Me. 

After all the festivities of the past weeks or maybe even months...it all seems to be catching up with me. I feel like I have been hit by a bus, except that I probably have no idea what that really feels like.

I will not leave a litany of my perceived ailments here, I don't want to get caught complaining.  I will say, however, that I am going to take a little break... again.  I'm going to do some fasting, for bodily reasons as well as for mental and spiritual reasons.  I'm going to take some time for me, to rest and to heal.

For me that means resting from YouTube and Tarot and Tidal.  It's just such a distraction.  Fun while it lasted, I suppose.  But vices are always like that and I can't afford to entertain them right now.  Dare I say, even coffee is going to have to go, at least for now.

I never want to be fanatical about anything, but somehow I usually seem to get myself in deeper than anticipated.  I don't want to get fanatical about fasting or meditating or even the elusive Ascending.  I don't want to get religious.  But I can't let myself slide into a lazy life of debauchery either.  And when you get to a certain place, it doesn't take much to make you feel like you're living in hell.  A couple of Truly's and a few days of BBQ topped with potato salad and some chocolate mousse...well like I said before, it feels like I've been hit by a bus.

Then I think my brain gets foggy and I started scrolling and searching for some spark of inspiration somewhere to get me up, to make me feel alive again.  And I know I have the formula. I can bring my bodily biosphere back into balance and I will. I just need to get up off the couch and do it.  And I can center myself and find my spiritual equilibrium as well.  And I will.

So tomorrow, September 29, is a beautiful day to begin. But I will start today.  No guilt. No shame. Just realization and doing what needs to be done.  And even if I can't, if I don't show up here for a few days, a few weeks, a few months...it's all good.  I'm good.  We're good.