The Ten of Swords

 Surrender.  That's the message.  Just surrender.  

My question? What am I really supposed to be getting done here?  Ten of Swords. An inspiring word for the day.  Surrender. To it all.

Yeah, OK.  But what does that mean?  So, I have been thinking about this for a few days now.  Pacing.  I need to adjust my pacing.  I need to step back, slow it down and, ok, surrender. But I don't need to stop.  I don't. I just need to find some balance.  I can do this, maybe in a different way, but I can do this.  That brings up the next question however...What is "this"?  That, my friend, I am still trying to figure out.

(183) Marvel Studios’ Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 | New Trailer - YouTube

I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 last night.  I found it "fascinating".  I would highly recommend you see it if you haven't already. I do want to talk about the movie, but this is not a movie review.  As far as I am concerned, this movie is packed with hidden truths and in my opinion, tons of disclosure. But underneath, I believe there is even more.

I believe that this movie might just be giving us glimpses of who we are, really. It offers us a portal to a theater of our own history that may help explain, why we often feel so unsettled.  Why things here just so often don't make sense. Why I feel so tired all of the time.  Now, how much of what we see in this movie is based on reality and how much is sheerly imagination?  That's a good and important question.  But regardless, I think as we watch it, we can discover some important truths that can help us construct a better understanding of ourselves, our lives in this world and our connection to those around us, including the "other ones". 

Of course, the notion that animals are highly intelligent and can even communicate is really cool.  "Good dog!" Of course, as a "student" of animal telepathy, I am highly intrigued, no doubt.  The role that animals play in this movie is perhaps revelatory, especially if these kinds of things really can and even maybe do exist. I do feel a little bit vindicated here, I must say! :)  Animals have feelings too, right?  So says they!

But the ability to problem solve and exhibit inventiveness over rote learning and the importance of creativity in the "perfect" species to populate the alternate earth, highlights for me the gift that humanity, even in this imperfect world, possesses.  However, what it makes me wonder is, is that creativeness really valued in this world or is it being programmed out of us?  Have they tried?  Are we resisting?  Well, some of us are, I believe.  Cray, cray me is. Although not making that much of a difference I'm afraid.  Too creative.  I've been told that before too.  I'm too creative.  So, I just go around creating things, art, videos, blog posts, great meals, and it's all a lot of fun and it's beautiful, but does it really even matter?  

The other huge takeaway for me, revolves around Mantis and her rage.  She's fighting for her life.  She's fighting for her identity.  She's fighting for her freedom from her programming.  It started with EGO. Then it was with the Guardians and her own submission to, the prison of, the learned behaviors of that which she learned and adapted to with EGO. But all throughout the movie, she was breaking free.  She was angry.  She was standing up for herself.  She was finding her strength.  She was finding her worth.  She recognized when she was receiving otherwise from those around her.  She was pissed off. She had had enough.  She was sure.  She was free.  Finally.  Now I understand what it is that I have to do.  That explains why I have been so pissed off this year.  People laugh at me, but I understand. I get it.  I do.

So, all of that, from a movie, that movie, left me feeling more than a little bit introspective.  And where have I learned that I need to go when I want to figure out what is going on inside of me?  I meditate. I'm supposed to meditate. So, I did. I did some meditating.  It was not perfect.  It was not highly spiritual.  It was just me trying to break free of the thing that has this hold on me.  I used a soundtrack of some crystal bowls that I will share with you here.

(183) Higher Self Sound Bath for Ascension | Music for Addiction, Transcendence, and Self Transformation - YouTube

And how far did I go?  Well, about 17 minutes.  That's all.  Then I laid down.  I let the bowls keep playing.  I laid down to go to sleep.  Because I'm tired.  OK.  I surrender.  For this moment.  For now.