What Feels Like Home to You?

Do you feel at home? What does that even mean?  Is home a person, place or thing? What feels like home to you?

MJ. She's a little instigator, she is! She's had this narrative going for many months now.  (Of course, I've been listening to it.) This storyline keeps showing up for Leo's (which I guess I am now) and again yesterday for Cancers (tis now Cancer season and I am a Cancer rising, supposedly, and my purple diary from when I was a kid had me as a Cancer while I was growing up...which I can relate to very well...all those emotions!)  Well MJ, she says it's time for me to find a new home.  What?!

She says I "have a new spiritual partner coming in.  She says it's trying to materialize but I keep dragging my feet.  She says I 'm stuck in a situation and I have to move.  She says I'm resisting the next chapter of my life because it's BIG.  What's coming in she says, is really, really good and powerful and has longevity to it.  (She's been saying this.  She keeps saying this.)

(91) Daily Tarot : Finding Your NEW Spiritual Partner | Spiritual Path Guidance - YouTube

She says there is a doneness to this chapter that I am in but I'm resisting going towards this very, very good new thing.  I'm staying in the thing that's done, the thing that has become very uncomfortable, but I stay because of a commitment.  I'm treading water.  Universe keeps saying "Hey, it's time to move on," but I resist. FEAR.

And OK, so she has 272K subscribers, but I'm sure she's talking to ME!  How can that be?  Am I that suggestible?  Am I that gullible?  Well, MY cards are giving me the same messages, it seems. (They did have a very similar message in the spread I pulled for myself last night.  The central situation: Moon - mystery, intuition, the unknown, crossed by the Lovers - soulmate, soul contracts, partnership. The outcome? Justice.)

And why am I hanging around here, putting so much time and energy into reconstructing my gardens, cleaning up the mess that has accumulated over the past 2 years?  Why am I hanging onto my goats and making videos about them like I will be around here forever?

What's coming in, she says, is my deepest desires...but I don't go towards them because that will upset what has been put in place, it will upset the thing that's finished. (You bet it would!) Something that I created, that used to feel like home doesn't feel good anymore.  It's like home is making me sick. Home kicking me out.  Where the heck do I go to get well?  Where the heck do I go to survive? I stay here and absorb myself in my garden and my goats.  I stay where I think it's safe...enough.

I know.  I know it's ending.  I know it's over.  All I have to do is let go.  All I have to do is say "Let's go!"  OK MJ.  OK Universe.  But who will hear me?  I hang on to that known quantity, that thing that is ok.  That thing that is safe.  The thing that sacrifices his wants and needs to put food on the table and a roof over our heads.  The thing that has been dedicated to me and stays by me.  The thing that doesn't want this thing to end.  The thing that says he wants to be with me forever.  The thing that has been my best friend through the past 19 years through the good times and the very, very bad.  The thing that says I am his home.

I need help, she says.  I need help, I say.  I need something.  Where is my help?  I have a helper person (I am fire and so he must be air) to help me find myself again.  I am finding a new home, she says.  Where is it, I say? The FOOL card keeps showing up...Am I the FOOL? Actually setting off on the new journey, for the new life?  Am I playing the FOOL, just dreaming of a new journey and actually having the great spiritual wool pulled over my eyes and destroying what I have here in the meantime? I put my passion towards this new person, this new life into my creative endeavors.  I make videos.  I write on my blog.  I feel happier.  I feel better...but I still feel trapped.

The reorienting, the finding of the new home is what is happening now, she says. (She's very chatty and very excited because she has been getting this storyline for someone for almost a year now.) I'm getting free of something that was good at one point but now that has ended.  (Interestingly I got this same message from the Universe from a different person in a personal reading last February, of 2022. She told me I needed to go then.)  Why am I still here? I do have healing, clearing work that I still need to do. I am doing it here.  I am helping others here to heal as well. But I need that new helper. Well, I want that helper anyway.  I need the new spiritual partner. Want. OK.

Love is coming in.  Long term love.  Long term partnership.  Healed partnership.  Finding my spiritual partner for the next chapter of my life. There's someone out there.  There's someone coming.  Well, where is he? Oh, the hopeless fools that keep waiting.  Addiction.  Waiting for that next fix.  Waiting for that next bit of hope.  Always waiting. Why don't you just go ahead and purchase the extended version so you can get the REAL answers.  Not happening here.  I'll just wait. FANTASY.

If I leave now, I'm going to end up homeless, on the street so to speak. FEAR.  That's my fear.  I'm going to end up alone. Danger! Danger! Danger!

(98) Semisonic - Closing Time (Official Music Video) - YouTube

I start singing the Semisonic closing time - "you don't have to go home but you can't stay here." 

standing still...being peaceful for right now (MJ & Universe says that's good)

I know who I want to take me home. (x3)

Take me home...do we just keep missing each other? (It makes a great story.)

Or do I end up like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and realize that what I really wanted was in front of me all along?  There's no place like home.   There's no place like home.  There's no place like home.

Is there really something written in the stars for me? Or do I need to catapult all of this tarot stuff to infinity and beyond?