Crashing

 Well this is very interesting. I need to get a post out and my computer dies. I can't write freely from my phone...it doesn't flow. It's all about the flow, you know.

So here I am, hacking around at trying to say something, something I think is very important. Something life changing. Something meaningful. Something that absolutely must be said...and I am feeling like my wings are tied. But here's the thing, here's the irony, here's the truth...I am finally FREE. In reality, as REAL as it gets, I'm free.  I just have to decide where to go from here.

Road trips can do that. They help you clear your mind. They help you cleanse your soul. And driving in the west is the best. Open roads. So much less traffic. Faster speed limits and so many beautiful views, like the universe wants you to have time to reflect even as everything is in motion. No standing still. No lotus position necessary. Just moving, moving, moving... forward.

I have so many beautiful ideas and feelings to reflect upon, like a pitch black all night drive through Wyoming with the ghost of Jack Kerouac riding shotgun, and the hike up Sleeping Beauty that was hard as heck but totally worth it. Not everyone gets to see the whole world, only those that say YES, even when when it's dark, even when it feels impossible to breathe. We become brave. We do it anyway. We get to the top and we get the prize. We get to feel life at it's fullest. We get to LIVE.  What a blessing.  I am grateful.

I pulled cards and got some inclinations yesterday that as we were traveling back to NC, the drive would be full of signs and synchronicities.  I was not disappointed, in fact I was downright dumfounded.  I wrote down as much as I could so I could look back and remember. I don't control the freewill of others, but if these things/signs mean anything, which I won't get into here for the whole computer crash issue, but if they truly reflect upon the path I am being guided to take from here forward, then it is an absolutely beautiful, almost magical, rich and full and loving path.  It's a new and unknown path, yet one promising happiness and joy and deep, deep friendship.  Beautiful energy.  Lasting energy. Beautiful life. Last love.

And as we traveled, my throat chakra opened up and words and expressions of my heart's knowing and my soul's belief of my true possibilities, my authentic path, my passions, my promises, my purpose, all came spewing out in words and confessions and the sorting out of ideas and in-the-moment processing and letting go and being brilliantly, brutally honest with Chris, Christ and myself...all know it all. Nothing hidden. Nothing lost. Things of old, that need to go...let go... for real.  I feel it all released. 

As we got closer to "home" (but is this place really my home? my house, doesn't feel like home) something else kept happening. Again, for brevity sake, I will just say that we, Chris and I hashed through a minefield.  We managed to maintain the love that has served a great and higher purpose, but we came to innerstand, that this purpose is done.  It's completed.  Mission accomplished.  And now it's time.  

It's time to move forward. It's time to move on, where and when and how we still don't exactly know. But we know it will all reveal itself, in the perfect and proper time. And when the new call knocks, for either one of us, we are both ready to go. No love is lost. It's just transmuted.  It's a deep friendship, that although once romantic, lasts as an ever deepening friendship as we cut the final cords, make the final forgiveness, and move forward into our new missions that lay in wait for us. We move closer and closer to GO time, as every night closes and each day dawns.