Purpose and Destiny - The Process

Be Aware! Enter carefully.  This one is heavy on esoteric imagery, etheric images and enchanting ideas (and videos). 

Behold! I am re-understanding what I have been resisting.  Bam! It hit's me.  Damn! It's my self.  My Higher Self.

I am resisting god, my god self.  I am resisting ascending.  I am resisting moving away from my comforting zone, where I have been hanging out, with or without all those I love. I am resisting moving on, in some unknown capacity, from those I do know and do love. I am resisting my soul purpose, knowing it, for real. I am resisting my destiny, living it, fully.  

But I already knew this.  I know this.  I have felt this for a while now.  That is exactly why I was resisting.  Because I knew things were going to have to change.  And I don't like change, not really.  I am going to have to give things up.  I am going to have to change. I am going to have to change what I wanted to believe. It's time to surrender. (Ten of wands baby.)

It is now time.  I'm ready.  I just don't call it meditating.  I relabel it with no name.  I just sit down to listen to some music and be quiet, to allow my mind to be quiet within my brain and I relax. I set my grid and call in my guides, just for company, not to go anywhere, just for protection, just because. Before I realize it, I am going.  It feels good and I know that I am heading to exactly where I need to be.  I don't know what I will encounter.  I encounter it as it comes along.  I don't know what feelings will arise.  I meet them where they are, where I am and release what I need to, forgive what I need to as it shows up. I surrender every cell.  I just am.  I am.  The music helps keep me there, in the I am.  It keeps me in the present moment, by moment, by moment. I relax into the perfect safety of the moment.

Cutting cords, releasing, letting go, setting free, forgiving, cleansing like a waterfall, dissolving, total relaxation, total peace, pure loving. Surrender. Yes. Thank you.

I take my coffee and go outside to spend a few moments in the morning sun. Walking in that state of consciousness from the "not" meditation feels a little lightheaded, in the zone, a zone, space...spacey?  Yet juxtaposed by grounding. Outside. Barefoot. Being grounded...continuously grounding so I don't float away.  It creates a cosmic fullness.  It's all part of the process.  One step after another, intentionally, purposefully, observably, sacredly if you will, moving through. Moving into another spacetime continuum yet here on this planet. No drugs, just a bit of morning coffee. Welcome back.  I have been here before.  I forgot how good it feels.  I am remembering though.  

Rest assured, to the casual observer, I just look like Ronda sitting barefoot in the backyard, in my bathrobe, on a plastic chair. There is no golden nimbus to be seen, no rainbow aura emanating from my being.  It's just me. 

I am joined by puppies and birds and bees and butterflies and dragonflies and an enormous gathering of the hosts of nature. I sit still, surrounded by the sounds of our wild backyard oasis and listening to some healing crystal bowls playing through YouTube on my cell phone. I can't escape technology or this world, totally, nor do I want to, really, despite my bawling and complaining from (too many) time-to-times. I just want to make it, this world, a better place.  God that sounds so cliche'. But it's the truth.

I enjoy the stillness within.  I enjoy the sanctuary surrounding me.  I savor the moment.  Truly.  Simply.  Still.  I savor. Then I salute...the sun. Some tiny yoga, sun salutations.  Only two or three.  I don't want to feel like I am doing any kind of work here or anything.  Then I do a mini session of Qigong, some things I learned at the retreat out at ECETI.  

Then I pulled in the energy.  I collected and anchored and grew the energy out...covering, protecting and enlightening all the perimeters of our property.  Then I brought it back in, the energy.  Smaller and smaller, I collected it and gathered it within my heart center.  I breathed.  I had to breathe.  I said thank you, for everything.  I held that moment for as long as I could. But I knew I needed to go. It ain't heavy my brother, trust me. But I had stuff to do today, so I did proceed.

What do I have on my to do list today? 1)Feed the goats 2) cut weeds under the trees 3) pull weeds in the raised beds 4) add compost 5) trim weeds by the sidewalk 6) water the gardens 7) work on/visualize my greenhouse decor design (make the Home Depot list) 8) Write my blog post. Yay!  And pull some more weeds around the garden if I have time.

And what "card" did the Universe want to bring to my attention today?  The Wheel. In actuality, I pulled the card, well it flipped out and presented itself to me, before I took my meditative little self outside to bask in the sun. So, I have been contemplating this a bit before I sat down here. Today the wheel picked me. Destiny.

The wheel speaks to that which is destined and fated.  Birth, death and rebirth.  Reaping rewards, synchronicity, progress, inevitability, completion/beginning of a cycle.  Fascinating. I was just reading this morning in James Gilliland's Becoming Gods the section on Purpose and Destiny...literally just this morning.  Talk about synchronicity.  Hmm...Woo...

What does James have to say about destiny?  Well, Mr. Gilliland posits that "Each and every one of us has chosen to incarnate during these exciting times."  We each have a unique purpose and chosen experiences to help us evolve. These experiences help us heal many of the wrong conclusions from past experiences. He says that the law of forgiveness and grace can heal those unresolved issues in a moment.  That healing can instantaneously bring a being into the current now.  Once we have cleaned up the past, we can move on to a bigger agenda.

He also states that there is a unique master teacher and healer within all of us whose purpose is to aid in the awakening and healing process. That in a nutshell is our purpose.  Essentially, our destiny is to fulfill our purpose. If we are not living life "on purpose" we are not on the path to fulfilling our destiny.  By not aligning ourselves with Higher Consciousness and Energies we suffer sadness and loneliness and lack of fulfillment.  If left unhealed, this misalignment "will lead a soul to die a sad, lonely, unfulfilled death."

In James' understanding you must "find yourself, your purpose; own and act upon it despite the whole of the world.  Live for your feelings. Use your heart, not your head.  Let love be your guide, not fear.  Only then will you find true security and happiness.  If you settle for a comfort zone, you will die, and your consciousness at death will determine where you go into your next understanding."  

He concludes the Purpose and Destiny chapter with these words: "We would highly recommend each and every one of you to take stock of your lives.  Look at your present predicament, your past, and your present state of consciousness, which determines your future.  There is a great, courageous, wise and noble captain in each of you, and it would behoove you to ask just who is steering your ship."

I don't know about you, but as for me, I want to do this as right as possible.  That's why I decided to "not" meditate last night for about 10 minutes to a guided video.  I saw my higher self come to me as a beautiful blue imagery, kind of like an enormous manta ray enveloping me with her love.  It was pretty cool. Then Chris called, then I had to leave for a movie, so that was that.  I found the 20-minute Higher Self video that I posted above, and I listened to that last night as I was lying in bed reading.  That's all.  Had some interesting and vivid dreams for the record but nothing out of the ordinary.  Just reporting.

Then I read James and "not" meditated this morning and all of that stuff you just waded through. Then "The Wheel" again, Destiny that is.  Destiny.  Then The Alchemist posted her weekly video.  This week on fate and... you guessed it, Destiny. More synchronicity I would say.  

And I find her analysis, assessment, however you want to call it, very spot on...in my opinion.  Or should I say, this feels very right to me.  I'll let you watch it for yourself, but to sum it up for me: Fate and how I have chosen to respond to it throughout my life has brought me to exactly where I am in this moment in time.  Now it is up to me to fulfill my destiny regardless of how difficult that might be. My destiny is simply to align with my highest and best self, on the highest and best possible timeline, while allowing others their own free will and allowing them to respond to their own fate and align with their own destiny in whatever way they choose.  This is where I find my peace.  This is where I find my purpose.

I would like to end this post for today by going back to the beginning.  Going back to the first meditation of my day.  During that "not" meditation, I could feel my entire cerebral cortex lighting up, building new neural pathways, creating new connections.  My crown chakra was warming up and my ears were gently ringing.  I sat in that moment, and I knew the science, that everything in the brain can be rewired, reprogrammed, healed.  The message I was gifted today was "Keep coming here and you will be healed of everything."  This is not an overnight miracle that is being promised to me.  It is the result, the reward, of constancy, consistency and patience.  This is the process.  For now, this is my purpose and my destiny.  Here at this safe place, I know I will find all of the answers to my questions that I have been trying so hard to figure out.  I know that all will be revealed in time.

I will come back to that place regularly, for my Self, to meet my Self, to preserve my sanity in an insane world, to have my perfect peace amidst the warring energies that wait outside of this sacred threshold.  I will consistently visit this place to cross into that other dimension, so I can bring the peace back with me and share with those in this world whose energies will allow.  I will give to those who will partake, a smile, a laugh, a nod...and we can bring peace on earth, we can build a better world, one bit of consciousness, one particle of love at a time.  And everyone will see Ronda, growing a garden, drinking coffee and reading a good book every now and again. 

I think some philosopher somewhere once said, "Chop wood. Carry water. Pull weeds." And so, it goes.