Catch UP

 Luckily, I have my laptop back, because I have about 1001 things to say, about our trip out west, about our adventures there, and about Life, who is showing up for us and so much, so overwhelmingly much, about where are we going.  It's been an interesting ride the past 2 weeks, to say the least.  And I'm really not sure where to start, and I don't know how many posts I might need in order to make things, these ideas, at least a little bit more coherent, and entertaining, (inspiring?) to the reader(s?).

I'm just being reminded of the time, way back in college, when I stuck a maxi-pad to my forehead, got down on all fours and pushed a softball around on the floor with said maxi-pad, for what?  For an improv class, theater, that's what I had to work with, so I improvised.  I got a good grade.  I got noticed.  I feel like that's what my life is like now.  I'm just working with what I've got.  I'm just trying to make the grade (of life...moving forward), and I'm trying so god-damned fucking hard to get noticed.  That just spewed out so there must be some truth in it.

Truth is, I'm not at all sure what I am doing here.  I know my "content" is weird and fascinating and entertaining...sometimes...but is it making any difference?  I just don't know.  I hope, but I don't know.  Only you know.

I know that I feel inspiration when I write, and I like that.  I like that very much, but as I have said before, and I am going to experience it again today I am sure as I spend hours catching up, this writing, this blogging, this thinking about all of this stuff takes up so much of my precious time.  I really have to be respectful to myself of my precious time.  Pulling cards for Chris, who has so many questions for the universe, especially since he is experiencing his own new "essence" from beyond that he has so much curiosity about, takes up my precious time.  We spent hours yesterday going through so much of that and these energies, they channel through me, which is weird, but it's real, and it is strong, and it is exhausting for me I must admit.  I'm happy to help, but I have to set boundaries everywhere.  I have to be the respecter of myself, first and foremost.

That said, I also know I have to focus.  I have an art website that needs building, I have new art that needs to be born.  I have a new life ahead of me that needs blessed.  I have to focus.  I can't let this slide.  I've invested too much this time. I have to manifest this new reality and if I have to do it by myself, so be it, but I know, I realize that I am not alone.  I have help, if I ask for it.  I have guides and teachers and tech support.  I can get this done, for me. That's as far as I can see.

That, and hopefully I will be getting a new mailing address soon, so I can continue to move forward with the plan that was set in motion about a year ago, last September.  We are moving forward with that, Chris and I, and we feel really good about it.  We feel really free.  We have hope for everything and everyone.

So, that's the update, in a nutshell, for now.  The rest is yet to come...the best is yet to come...so they say!