Rehab - Oh No No

This morning, I woke up singing that song by Amy Winehouse, you know, "They're gonna make me go to rehab, and I said, No, No, No...".  Try as I might, even drifting back in and out of sleep for a while, the song wouldn't go away.  And you know me, I always take it as some sort of "message".  But every once in a while, even though I might "receive" something, I wonder, where the heck is this coming from?  

I'm not going to post a link so you can listen to the song, because honestly, it's just pretty low vibe and depressing, and poor Amy, and her fate and I don't want to perpetuate that into the ethers.  But, as I was in and out of sleep, I sent her love and wished her well and I hope she's been able to pass on.  And without going too much farther down the rabbit hole at this moment, the question I am I settling on for now is, what does this mean for me today?

What does rehab mean for me?  What does it mean for me today?  What does it mean for you?  

I'm sitting here looking out the window of my bedroom, peering into my backyard where I still don't have the courage to go hang out because of the haunting memories and the ghosts of my goats hanging around out there.  Rehab means admitting there is a problem.  

I'm missing my goats a lot, but more importantly I am missing out on a huge part of my life and fall and living.  What the FUCK am I doing?  There is a simple solution to this particular part of my conundrum...go outside.  OH, NO, NO.   Rehab means facing the uncomfortable truth.

Go out into my backyard.  Walk the paths.  Smell the leaves.  Cry my tears.  Face my fears.  They will dissipate and I will deal with them and become stronger and more courageous.  I will feel liberated from my own limiting beliefs and my own self-imposed shackles.  Wait right here.  I'll be back.  Rehab means doing the work.

What a pleasant gift I was given when I went outside.  Thank you to the skies.  Thank you to my guides.  I know you are always looking out for me, and I know that you are encouraging me to stay the course.  The course can be hard and weird and really scary at some points.  Spiritual awakening is not for sissies.  In fact, I believe the opposite is true.  Spiritual awakening is for the fucking jedi warriors baby.  Light it up!  Rehab means reawakening to a new life.

As I awaken, I am realizing my spiritual missions.  I am remembering who I am and why I am here.  I am practicing and training my body, mind and soul for what is and what is to come.  It's a little weird for me, I must admit, but I am here to learn and serve.  Who am I to argue.  And it can even be fun.  In fact, it must be fun, I believe, if it is truly what I am here to do.  I just ate a whole box of blueberries!  Yum!  Rehab means having the courage to do what it takes.

As part of my rehab and as a student of the mother, goddess, priestess Isis for the moment, I listened to this meditation in a saltwater bath after my morning exercises.  It was a powerful healing tool, and I would highly encourage you to take some time to listen to it if you have an opportunity.  I know everyone doesn't have endless hours to listen to meditations and watch videos, but this one was powerful and meant a lot to me.  I hope you will find meaning and healing in it too.

If you have been following me here on this blog for any period of time, you know that one of my greatest desires is to fulfill my soul's purpose and live my life authentically, as the richest, fullest, most beautiful version of myself as I was created to be.  Finding my voice, being brave and putting my hopes and fears and desires before the world is just a small part of that hero's journey that I am on.  

Although some of the things I write and post on this blog might be quirky, or corny or downright stupid at times, they are all and always sincere.  They are all offered as a gift of my heart on a mission to ignite the flame of love and ascension in the hearts of any and all who would stumble upon this platform.  I welcome you to think of this as cosmic rehab.  

Resistance to these higher realities is the knee jerk "No, No, No!" reaction that even I have gone through from time to time on this journey.  As things get wilder and wilder, I think I am again struggling with the new path forward...but I know it is best and highest and GREAT!  Good things can be scary too.

Retreat.  Simplification.  Rest.  Trust.  Allow.  Restore.  Shine.  Congratulations!  You've just been rehabbed!  Time to celebrate with my #1 song, coming to you straight from the heart today...

For showing up and staying 'til the end, from your #1 girl, this BONUS song is just for you!