Profound or Petrifying?

Along this path of self-discovery, I have found bits and pieces of knowledge, of myself, of the others, of the world, one after another, after another, after another.  A long trail of this and that and definitely the other.  Do I just examine and pick up every single little piece that comes before me, you might be wondering, carelessly, unwittingly, collecting nothing but a pile of rubble at the end of the day?  Well, I don't think so, but I sure as shit have picked up a lot of stuff.  Some good, some not as good.  I guess you might be getting that vibe by now.  

I have a little bit of something else to share with you today before our bootcamp wraps up tomorrow.  There is a heck of a lot of stuff out there to explore and I just think that understanding a little bit of everything can make for the opportunity of interesting conversation wherever you might find yourself landing throughout the world in the coming days.  It certainly helps me understand others better and ultimately, I believe it all helps me understand myself better too, which undoubtedly is what the path of self-discovery is all about.  Duh.

It's like my life is a mosaic of all of these bits and broken pieces of this and that and there and here and when you put it all together, well, as I am trying to put it all together, I am just trying to make the most incredibly beautiful picture possible.  I want to create a masterpiece within my soul that will shine for anyone who stumbles upon it to see.  I want to inspire others to dare, to play, to aspire to create their own masterpiece from their own broken and bent, black and bruised parts.  It like the Kintsukuroi bowl, mended with gold, what once was shattered and unrecognizable, is now made whole again and ever more beautiful for all of the battering that it has been through. It is a work of art in its reconstructed glory.

So, do you have headphones?  This really must be done with headphones.  Do you have 30 minutes?  This really must be done when you have a bit of extra time and can be undisturbed for a while.  Then put your headphones on, get comfy and press GO.   Just relax, breathe deeply and get ready to go to the unknown.  I can't tell you where you will go, this experience is just for YOU!  

I experienced this Hemi-Sync guided meditation for the first time a couple of nights ago.  The experience I had was deep and meaningful, even though I think I still managed to resist submitting completely to the exercise.  Somehow or some way, I find myself always wanting to feel like I am in control of what is going on in my body, yet the whole point of meditation is to let go, to surrender and ultimately release control of the lower mind over to higher states of being.  But I am human, and I am cautious and I'm just not so sure if I trust this stuff or not.  It is part of the CIA Gateway project after all.  

After the Hemi-Sync meditation, I listened to a little bit of M83, Midnight City, through my headphones.  Now THAT made me feel free and not afraid at all.  (Why have I not done this sooner!?!)  Dance!  I did, in lotus position.  And as usual I hear all the words wrong, but I don't even care!  It moves me.  I was moved.  A lot.  And after my hemi-sync meditation and feeling as though I had massaged my brain and opened my heart in another healing and meaningful way, I came across another new video in my YouTube feed that evening.  This video, offered to me another meditation into a sacred healing space that she called The Realm of Unfulfilled Dreams.  Now, I get that this might sound corny to you, but when the frequency of those words hit my open heart, I realized immediately, that this is a healing that I have been desperately seeking for a while now, perhaps even lifetimes.

Please listen to this if you can.  You don't need headphones for this.  I definitely think it is the healing that I have been seeking with, through and surrounding this platform...that is, with you.  I honor and understand so much more than ever before.  This journey has been such an important part of my soul's healing and again I say to you that I am forever, and I mean FOREVER, grateful for it.  Thank you.  Please listen, if you can and receive my gratitude, receive my love from across these past lifetimes and all space and time.  Thank you.

And is it any surprise to you that I broke a glass bowl today.  Lucky for me, I have some gold glitter glue just sitting around in my art supplies, waiting to be used.  I'm going to make my own, real, kintsugi bowl today.  I'm going to put my broken pieces back together with gold.  I'm going to transmute the shit out of this day.  I'm feeling glorious!  I hope you are too.  It's all golden.  I, for one, think it's also all profound.  It's Alchemy.