Moving Along

 Yesterday I drove to Burlington, about a 40-minute drive, to pick up my grandson, Asher, to spend time with him at my house for the day.  I took him back to his home yesterday evening.  That's 160 minutes of drive time. (Plus 10 minutes because I missed their exit again!) All in all, it's enough time to do some serious thinking, especially since the little guy is only 14 months old.  He doesn't do much talking yet, and he fell asleep in the car on both trips (And in my arms that afternoon :)

Driving alone is my oasis of song and sound.  At times I swear the universe is speaking to me through lyrics of the music on the radio.  Funny thing is, since I often get the words to songs wrong, it makes me wonder, what am I actually hearing?  Is it just my own thoughts wanting to play out in real time?  Am I just making all this shit up? It's possible.

I do gain encouragement though, through certain songs, right words or wrong.  I do get uplifted and feel better for the beats and the energy of the essence of whatever is playing, the music that is moving through me. When I hear the song Move Along by The All-American Rejects, I get moved by the energetic beat.  I feel inspired to keep going.  And I have always sung the final chorus as "laugh at what is wrong, we move along".  Those are not the words.  But I feel better singing them that way.  I gain strength...by singing the song the way I want it to be.

Driving alone is my sanctuary of thought and processing...the songs, my life, my being. I guess that could be why I miss my exits occasionally.  Deep in thought, I move along...at my own demise. I miss the proverbial boat.  (Not a great metaphor for driving...I get it.)  Thank god for U-turns. (That's a little bit better, cliche', but more connected to the topic at hand...anyway...)

Naturally, to me, as you might have figured out by now through these blog posts if you have been following them and reading them, a large part of my processing and my writing is talking to myself (or whoever I think is listening) ...stream of consciousness.  I would have posted a much different blog post had I been able to capture the conversation I was having in my head yesterday while I was driving. But I didn't.  And I can't, it seems.  It's that flow process that comes out of nowhere (knowhere?haha) that seems SO inspired at the time.  I even grabbed my phone (illegal in the state of NC) and brought up my voice recorder.  Nope.  My brain froze.  All that good philosophical babble that I was swimming in just a moment before was gone. Vanished.  Empty...for the most part.

I did manage to get a few things locked into a compartment of my memory to use as prompts for writing something today when I got a chance to sit down at my computer.  Something that I hoped would turn out at least a little bit inspirational, or at least maybe slightly interesting...(entertaining?)

The thing I realized and wanted to talk about was how eclectic my philosophy has become.  In reality, I should say how diverse it has always been.  I realize diverse does not mean deep, although I do think about things deeply.  As opposed to eclectic, I suppose a more serious philosopher would say "all over the f-ing map".  To a philosophical purist, I am absolutely sure all of my philosophical, metaphysical, galactic psychobabble is cringeworthy at best if not downright vomitous. Fine.  

That, as turns out, is my Authentic Self.  Thanks to Nietzsche. That is my Archetype, thanks to C.G. That is the crossroads where I choose to let go of my fear and choose love, thanks to Jampolsky. That is my song, thanks to me.  And so, I move along.  I find strength.  I find happiness. I keep finding a new part of me. 

Rest assured, however, that if a conversation was ever to actually happen, I would definitely be on freeze mode.  Remember, I don't do stream of consciousness out loud.  So, a conversation would not hurt as much as some might imagine.  I am a very good active listener.  I prefer it actually.  

I enjoy listening to other people's songs. I love being entertained by other people's stories.  I am enthralled by the diverse and divine uniqueness of every living soul.  Granted it is easier when you have some things in common.  It is heaven when you sit face to face with a soul mate.  Remember this one...it's a blast from the past.