No Words

I don't know what to say.  I don't know where to start.  I have plenty of thoughts, feelings, and words, but every one of them seems inadequate.  They all seem trivial and vacuous.  They seem cliche and every letter I type just feels like I'm trying too damn hard.  This sucks.

What I want to say is something like, "my heart is breaking".  I want to say I feel so horrible for the people, my neighbors, although three whole hours away, who are drowning in the disaster of the hurricane they called Helene.  I am so saddened that it's all been destroyed, that pretty little village where I had fish tacos twenty years ago when we were driving our moving truck through the area on our way to Texas.  And the trendy arts district where I envied the life of a "real" artist who sold so much art he could even afford to hire people to work in his enormous gallery and sell his larger-than-life paintings.  We had really delicious poke' bowls after that visit.

And I wanted to see the Chihuly exhibit at the Biltmore, it was expensive, and I procrastinated and now it's all gone.  I mean the buildings are still standing, I guess, but the gardens are destroyed, and the glass art is shattered and floated away, I am positive.  And how fucking selfish does this all sound.  

Yes, and also, my idea for camping around the Blue Ridge and Smoky mountains is definitely thwarted.  Who knows when the roads will even be open to get there.  Exactly.  Who knows when the roads will even be open to get there, to get supplies to people in real need.  Once again, life strikes, and time and choice and living are all catapulted into perspective.  What really matters.

Life, love, loved ones, family, first and foremost.  Pets, water, food, shelter.  What a luxury is cell service and power and gasoline.  Who even cares about art and books and all the stuff right now?  Except that they have some important meaning surrounding life, love, loved ones, pets and family.

I pulled a couple of tarot cards to help guide my thoughts and words here.  I'll try to summarize what it is suggested that I convey.  Briefly.  Without intended humor.  Yet maybe offering something positive, if I can.

1 - The Empress - Remember that card from another blog post I wrote a month or so ago?  The empress is beautiful.  She is the divine feminine.  She is full of life and growth and fertility.  Steve affectionately refers to her as the best tits in the tarot.  He might be right.  She is nature and beauty and life personified.  She is prolific creativity.  She is Gaia.  She is unconditional love.  

"The flourishing creative energy of The Empress is of the earth, so bring your dreams from the ethereal realms and ground them.  Share them.  Birth them.  Her beautiful abundance is always available to you, and she reminds you to find her regenerative energy everywhere."

We have just witnessed the raw power of nature, the Empress Gaia.  What has violently, tragically, sadly, been destroyed, will ultimately offer up a blank canvas for a new abundance of kindness and creativity to spring forth.  But man!

2 - The Six of Swords - This card, ironically, means moving out of troubled waters.  Does the Universe have a sense of humor, you wonder?  This card represents transitions, help arriving at the perfect time, healing, moving beyond trauma, support from others, personal evolution and a spiritual transition or journey.  

"You are moving through a period of realignment, and things can feel turbulent during these times of transition.  Trust that a better future awaits you on the other side of this change.  Maybe you are going through a rite of passage or an intense spiritual transformation.  These experiences are profoundly personal, and you may feel alone right now.  Even when it is difficult to accept assistance from others, remain open to receiving help from the most unexpected of places.  Allow the gentle support of the Universe to move you through this Ocean of Evolution and lean towards silver linings on the horizon.  (More Sunshine? Yes please!)  Sometimes we find ourselves adrift because we think we are ready to move on, but our heart is still anchored to the past.  What old chapter needs to be closed?  Chase guidance in the form of renewed hope and get ready to explore fresh beginnings on the opposite shore."

And that's it mainly.  A little message from the Universe or whatever force you want to call it that pours energy in and sucks life away.  The force that feeds the storm and flutters the butterfly's wings.  The power that splits the cell and the atom and the couple and the bill and the difference.  It IS.  And it just coincidentally wanted me to share this with you today as it relates to the biblical disaster in Western North Carolina, or to you, or whatever it is that you, or I, or anyone else on this human journey is going through, whenever you happen to find this post.

And as promised, on a final note today there is the Sun.  The final card the power "that IS" shared with me, to share with you, is the Sun.  "The Sun breathes life into everything he touches.  Radiating brightly, he creates a path of love and harmonic abundance.  This is a card of joyful celebration and a vibrant sign of positivity and success!  Expect to find bliss and be ready to take inspired action based on radical positivity and generosity.  Allow others to bask in the warm glow of your beaming heart and your inspired mind...Live it up!  This card is a reassuring sign that things are unfolding beautifully.  You are perfect, whole, and loved by the Cosmos..."

As always, sending love and light and wishing you always only the best.  And reminding you to be brave and do the things you need to do.  Make the most of every moment.  And please remember to always tell them that you love them, because you never know when it all, EVERYTHING, could change in a flash.