There's A Big Storm Coming

This is beyond ridiculous.  I am SO excited to get this August adventure started, but Life just keeps giving me roadblocks.  Why?  First it was waiting for my new cot, then my tent, then family obligations, followed by bee stings, then creeping in at the last minute some deep-seated fears of what might be lurking in the deep dark woods in the middle of a National Forest, topped off with some scary YouTube videos about solo-female camping.  Hmm.  Now, it's a tropical storm.  What is a sunshiny adventurous girl to do?  

Some days I just think I need to forget all these dreams. Some days I feel really stuck.  Blocked.  I question my rationale.  I question my innate desires.  Sometimes I feel like I am waging war against the gods on some kind of monumental Odysseusesque soul journey.  Naturally I may find myself asking, "What the hell am I doing here?" So, I tune in, and I listen to my soul and over and over and over again, the message I keep hearing from my inner self, my higher self or whoever is running the show, the message I keep getting is clear, "Don't give up. Don't stop now.  Don't quit."  

Even though I know I don't control all things, even though things don't always go how I plan, even though I don't always get what I want, Life still goes on, graciously, abundantly and generously.  My Soul still longs to Ascend.  And honestly, one of my mottos, or should I say one of my mantras is, "Life is always looking out for me.  Things are always working out for me.  All is Well.  All is Well.  All is Well."  I know, that's like three or four sunshiny things I tell myself on a daily basis, but who's counting?

One thing I can say, I'm grateful that I'm not camped out on the island of Ocracoke tonight.  Yes, I even had to reschedule my August camping kickoff at the Blue Ridge Ranch until Friday, but patience is a virtue and not having my new tent ripped to shreds by 40-50 mph winds and pounding rain is a very good thing, in my opinion.  Wouldn't you agree?

And I did finally book a couple of nights in Acadia National Park at one of the campgrounds at the end of the month, although, for a hot minute I did think of scrapping the whole Northeast thing and heading South to Padre Island.  I didn't.  The way things were progressing I thought that move might conjure up another hurricane in the gulf.  That is definitely NOT where I want to find myself.

Anyway, I am trying to get things all nicely and neatly "planned" out for the remainder of my month from here to there (Acadia).  And while I think there is some wisdom in this approach, the need to have EVERYTHING all planned out is driving me bonkers and besides that, it absolutely kills the majority of synchronicities that end up happening when you just trust enough to go with the flow and know that you are protected, and the universe does indeed have your back, whatever the mystical hell that means.  It's true.  

I have had some of my most amazing adventures this way.  Some people thought I was crazy for doing so and they have a right to their own opinions, but I felt protected and alive and so full of spirit, and I feel like I am missing the point here, in this August adventure, if I don't allow myself at least a portion of the trip to just totally wing it.  Trust.  Trust.  Trust.  This is part of what I am longing for, I am certain.  The magic.  I'm looking for the magic...again.

For my evening entertainment in the cozy confines of my tv room, as I wait for the storm to pass and prepare to take off on my epic journey, I've been watching episodes of Gordon Ramsay Uncharted and Running Wild with Bear Grylls.  I sit and think how marvelous all their adventures are, and I question if I really have any ability within me to do some things like that.  

Granted, I know this is television and the scripted, preplanned adventures are only partly real, but it's a bit of reality energy, living life to its fullest, that I want to get tapped into for myself right now.  That's so much of what this is all about.  Why?  Because I am tired of sitting at home, hoping and watching my dreams die.  No regrets!  Move forward.  Move along.  Hit the road.  Whatever song you want to sing with it, I'm gonna fly away...for a few weeks anyway. Haha. Then maybe some skydiving in September?  We'll see.

Here (below) is a livestream (lovestream) of a guy chasing his heart's passion, covering hurricanes and tracking tropical storms.  I've been listening while I'm putting together this post.  It's a reminder to me to follow my dreams.  Chase my passions and don't forget to take my dog.  Yes, she's coming with me on my August adventure, my big one (dog that is), not the little pain in the butt (dog that is).  I'm still excited, although patiently waiting.

And what have I been doing while waiting, you might be asking?  Well, I'm working on my art business.  I've completed a few of the tutorials that have been on my To Do List for a while and I am definitely feeling reconnection to the business side of things, and I am even slightly feeling some progress.  This is good.  And today I did receive a message on FB Messenger asking if one of my originals was still for sale.  The horrible thing is that I am so FREAKING skeptical when I get such messages or e-mails or communications of any kind, that I think they are fake, and I usually don't even answer them back.  I don't know exactly how to negotiate and deal with this if they ARE real, but I don't even give most of them a chance.  I will never sell any art this way.  Truth...BUT...

My REAL radar is pretty good, I think.  I have had a lifetime to improve and perfect it.  I think I pretty well know who is legit and who isn't and sadly, I'm getting more and more skeptical as time ticks on.  It just is what it is.  I wasn't so good at this reality testing in the past, and I have been burned more than a few times as a consequence, but I am not complaining.  "Everything for a reason" and "Life is always helping me learn", another couple of my mantras, if you will.

Which brings me to this whole idea of Life and what being here on planet earth at this time is REALLY for.  I can tell you this, it's not about me making my collage art.  Or collecting shit or getting the biggest house on the block.  I mean, that stuff can be fun and all, but it's not what it's about.  Life is here, I am here, we are here, to learn.  To learn to grow.  To learn to love.  To learn to live.  Even Bear Grylls is delving into the deeper meanings of life and experiencing life on his Running Wild show.  And even though his show is largely scripted, it doesn't necessarily make the philosophies he delves into any less true.  

And I've said it before and I will say it again, although I am happy to see my art as a way to connect to spirit and my higher self and the subtly sublime messages of our universe (and maybe other people if they ever want to see it), my reason for being here, I am being reminded, is NOT to make art, but to make Life, to make ART, if you will.  My reason for being on this planet right here, right now, is to LOVE and to TEACH OTHERS HOW TO LOVE.  Period.  It's hard to wrap my head around this and even more difficult to understand what it means and how to do it, but it's all that matters to me at this time.  It is my passion. 

This blog is an extension of that passion.  This blog is where I offer my love as I can and as I am able.  I hope to be an inspiration to all who stumble upon this place while on their journey.  My deepest gratitude for you and for anyone here who keeps coming back.  My humblest appreciation.  Much, much love to you.

With that said, I will sign off for now.  The sun is still peeking through in patches here, but I know what lies ahead.  A storm is coming.  Although I don't know how bad it will be, I am ready.  And when it passes sun or no sun, I am setting off to experience the next adventure of my lifetime!  And yes, I still don't know for sure where I am going, but I hope you'll stick around to see.  I'll be taking off, but I'm not going anywhere! (As long as I am able to find internet connection! 😜) 

Here's one more song for the road.  Enjoy!